Emotions as Your Inner Compass: How Can Your Feelings Guide You to a Better Life?

As a therapist, I'm pretty passionate about emotions. No one really teaches us how to deal with or react to them - not our parents, not society, and we definitely don't learn what to do with our emotions in school! I have a Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology and I learned a LOT of things, but they didn’t teach me about emotions and their purpose there, either! Emotions are important - they're our internal compass, they indicate what's happening in our outer and inner world. I've seen people take their emotions and transform the way they handle challenges, relationships, and personal growth. I’ve also seen that ignoring and burying emotions can prolong unhealthy situations, and in extreme situations can cause physical disruption in the form of illness or disease. In my practice, I draw on many theories, and Karla McLaren's work is my favorite for dealing with emotions.

One of the most revolutionary ideas Karla McLaren offers is that emotions aren't problems – they're messengers. Each emotion, no matter how uncomfortable, shows up with a purpose. Instead of pushing emotions away or labeling them as “bad,” we can ask: What is this emotion trying to tell me? That simple shift can change everything.

For example:

• Anger often shows up to signal that a boundary has been crossed.

• Fear alerts us to danger – but also helps us slow down and evaluate risks.

• Sadness invites us to let go, to grieve, to honor what mattered.

• Joy expands our awareness, drawing us into connection and presence. If you're experiencing joy, it's a good indicator that you're aligned with what brings you meaning.

If we treat emotions like static or interference, we miss their guidance. But if we listen and respond, we align with our inner truth.

The Emotional Compass: Your Inner GPS

Think of emotions like a compass – not all pointing in the same direction, but all helping you find your way.

• When you feel anxiety, it may be your compass saying: “You’re off course” or “There’s something here that needs attention.”

• When grief arises, your compass might be pointing to love, loss, or something deeply meaningful that deserves tending.

• When shame shows up (a tough one!), it might be asking you to reconnect with your values or seek repair.

This is where McLaren’s work shines. She doesn’t just name emotions – she gives us tools to work with them. She teaches that emotions move in waves, and when we allow them to flow naturally, they complete their cycle and offer healing.

Why We Avoid Emotions – and Why That’s a Problem

Many of us were taught to “stay strong” or “get over it” or “don’t cry”. Emotional suppression may have helped us survive tough situations, but it often creates disconnection – not just from others, but from ourselves.

The cost? Chronic stress. Illness. Numbness. Reactivity instead of clarity.

In fact, neuroscience backs this up: studies show that avoiding emotions increases physiological stress and can impair decision-making. Conversely, naming and feeling emotions improves emotional regulation and resilience.

How to Tune Into Your Inner Emotional Compass

Learning to listen to your emotions takes practice, but it’s like strengthening a muscle—the more you do it, the easier it gets. Here are three practical steps to start using your emotions as a guide:

1. Pause and Name the Emotion: Next time you feel a strong emotion, pause and label it. Are you angry, anxious, or excited? Naming emotions (a skill tied to Emotional Intelligence, popularized by Daniel Goleman) helps you understand what your inner compass is signaling.

2. Ask, “What’s This Telling Me?”: Reflect on what the emotion is pointing to. For example, if you’re frustrated at work, is it because you’re overcommitted or undervalued? Your emotions often reveal what needs attention or change.

3. Act on the Guidance: Emotions aren’t just for feeling—they’re for doing. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, maybe it’s time to say “no” to extra tasks. If you’re feeling inspired, lean into that creative project. Small, intentional actions based on your emotions can lead to big shifts.

Final Thoughts

Your emotions are not the enemy. They are your guides, your protectors, your truth-tellers. And yes, sometimes they speak loudly. But more often, they’re just waiting for you to notice.

If you’re interested in learning how to navigate your emotional landscape with more clarity, I'd love to talk. This is the work that brings me alive – and it can bring you home to yourself.

Let your emotions guide you. They know the way.