How to Talk to Kids About Sex: A Guide for Parents

I had some really great parents who each did an amazing job - separately, divorced - talking to me about sex. As a result, when I got my period at my dad's house one summer *gasp* I wasn't embarrassed to tell him about what was happening when he picked me up from camp that day and we went to the store to buy what I needed. I mean yeah, it was a little embarrassing to be checking out at Randall's with only pads with my dad, but it was fast and I survived. My mom was a great (but untrained) artist and drew amazing diagrams for me about parts, and educated me about what happened inside my body, and what happened during sex. They both created open atmospheres that allowed me to ask each of them anything I wanted without fear or shame.

Talking to kids about sex is one of the most important—and often most uncomfortable—conversations a parent can have. Many adults were never given healthy, open discussions about sex growing up, so it’s no wonder this topic can feel overwhelming. But here’s the truth: when kids don’t learn from you, they’ll learn from friends, social media, or the internet. And that information may not be accurate, safe, or healthy.

The good news? These conversations don’t have to be scary. With openness, honesty, and age-appropriate language, you can help your child develop a healthy, respectful relationship with their body, boundaries, and sexuality.

1. Start Early and Keep It Ongoing

Talking about sex isn’t a one-time “big talk.” It’s a series of small, ongoing conversations that evolve as your child grows. There are lots of books out there - do some googling and find ones that you like for reading to your kid.

• Young kids (ages 3–7): Use correct names for body parts, explain boundaries, and talk about consent in simple terms (e.g., “Your body belongs to you”). Bath time is a good time to do this - name parts, talk about who should and shouldn't be touching them, and if they ever feel uncomfortable with touch, to let you know.

• School-age kids (ages 8–12): Add in conversations about puberty, changing bodies, and how babies are made in simple, factual ways. Kids are exposed to a bunch of stuff - especially from peers with older siblings, and potentially social media.

• Teens (13+): Discuss relationships, values, contraception, consent, and online safety. This is a time to get more detailed about certain aspects of sex, and what your family values are around sex.

2. Keep It Honest and Age-Appropriate

You don’t need to share everything at once. Instead, give your child the amount of information they can handle for their age.

• If a 6-year-old asks, “Where do babies come from?” a simple answer might be, “Babies grow in a special place in the mommy’s body called the uterus.”

• As they get older, add more details in layers.

Honesty builds trust—if you dodge or shame the questions, kids learn to stop asking.

3. Talk About Consent Early

Consent isn’t just about sex—it starts with everyday interactions. Teaching kids to ask before hugging someone, or that it’s okay to say no to tickling, sets the foundation for understanding consent later.

As they grow, link this to relationships: respecting others’ boundaries, and expecting the same in return.

4. Share Your Values—Without Fear

Kids need facts, but they also need to understand your family’s values around sex, relationships, and intimacy. This doesn’t mean lecturing—it means sharing openly what matters to you.

For example:

• “In our family, we believe sex should be about love and respect.”

• “It’s important to always protect yourself from pregnancy and infections.”

• “What matters most to me is that you feel safe and respected in your relationships.”

5. Create an Open-Door Policy

The most powerful thing you can do is make sure your kids know they can come to you—without fear of judgment or punishment. You don’t need to have all the answers. A good response is:“That’s a great question. I don’t know all the details, but let’s find out together.”

6. Use Teachable Moments

Look for opportunities in everyday life to talk about sex and relationships:

• A storyline in a movie.

• A comment they overhear at school.

• A social media post.

These moments let you bring up important topics naturally, without waiting for “the big talk.”

Final Thoughts

Talking about sex with your kids may feel uncomfortable, but it’s also one of the greatest gifts you can give them: the confidence to understand their bodies, respect themselves, and make healthy choices in relationships.

The goal isn’t to have one perfect conversation—it’s to create an atmosphere of trust, openness, and ongoing dialogue. When you do, you become their safest and most reliable source of information in a world that’s already full of noise.