Are Your Thoughts Lying to You? Understanding Cognitive Distortions (And How to Outsmart Them)
- K.C. Georgulas, MA, LPC-S
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read

Have you ever spiraled over one awkward conversation, convinced someone secretly hates you? Or looked in the mirror and thought, “I’m a mess. I’ll never get it together.”
You’re not alone—and you’re not broken.What you’re experiencing is something psychologists call a cognitive distortion—a fancy term for a very human thinking error that most of us make all the time.
🧠 What Are Cognitive Distortions?
Cognitive distortions are automatic, habitual ways of thinking that twist reality—usually without us realizing it. They tend to be negative, rigid, and self-defeating.And while they’re not facts, they feel incredibly true in the moment.
These mental shortcuts developed to help us quickly interpret our world, but they often lead us to overreact, shut down, or spiral emotionally. Think of them like funhouse mirrors in your brain: close enough to reality that you trust what you see, but warped enough to throw you off course.
😌 Why Do We Use Them?
Not because we’re irrational or dramatic.We use cognitive distortions for one big reason: to protect ourselves.
They serve psychological purposes like:
⚠️ Avoiding danger (real or perceived)
🧱 Defending against shame or rejection
🧩 Making sense of confusing or painful experiences
For example, “If I expect the worst, I won’t be disappointed.” That’s catastrophizing, but it’s trying to shield you from emotional pain.
The problem? These distorted thoughts can keep you stuck in anxiety, depression, or self-sabotage long after the threat is gone.
🧩 Common Cognitive Distortions
Let’s name them, so they don’t run the show. Here are the most recognized cognitive distortions in psychology:
All-or-Nothing Thinking Seeing things in black-and-white terms. “If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure.”
Overgeneralization Making sweeping conclusions based on one event. “I messed up once—I always mess up.”
Mental Filter Focusing only on the negative details, ignoring the positive. “I got one piece of negative feedback, so I must have done badly overall.”
Discounting the Positive Downplaying or rejecting positive experiences. “That compliment doesn’t count—they were just being nice.”
Jumping to Conclusions Assuming things without evidence. Includes:
Mind Reading – “They didn’t text back—they must be mad at me.”
Fortune Telling – “I know I’m going to fail.”
Magnification (Catastrophizing) or Minimization Blowing things out of proportion—or shrinking important things. “This is the worst thing ever” or “It wasn’t a big deal” (when it was).
Emotional Reasoning Believing that your feelings reflect objective truth. “I feel worthless, so I must be worthless.”
Should Statements Pressuring yourself or others with rigid rules. “I should be doing better. They shouldn’t act like that.”
Labeling Assigning a global identity based on one behavior. “I failed that test, so I’m an idiot.”
Personalization and Blame Blaming yourself for things outside your control—or blaming others and avoiding responsibility.“It’s all my fault they’re upset.” / “It’s their fault I’m unhappy.”
💡 How to Work With Distortions (Not Just Fight Them)
Awareness is step one—but it’s not the whole journey.Here’s how to use cognitive distortions to create meaningful change:
Catch the Pattern Start noticing your “go-to” distortion. Journaling or voice memos help. Ask:What was I feeling? → What thought showed up? → Was it helpful or harmful?
Get Curious, Not CriticalDon’t shame yourself. Say:“Oh, that’s interesting. I’m all-or-nothing-ing again.”Your brain thinks it’s helping. Thank it, then challenge it.
Challenge the ThoughtAsk:
Is this 100% true?
Is there another way to see it?
What would I tell a friend who thought this?
Replace With FlexibilityInstead of: “I’ll never get it right.”Try: “This is hard, but I’m learning.”
Practice, Don’t PerfectChanging thought patterns takes time. But each small shift rewires your brain toward healthier behavior and deeper self-compassion.
🛠 Cognitive Distortions Aren’t the Enemy—They’re a Clue
Think of distortions as emotional “check engine” lights. They show up when something needs attention—usually an unmet need, a fear, or a place you’re still healing.
By learning to identify and work with them, you’re not just changing your thoughts. You’re transforming the way you treat yourself—and that creates real, lasting behavioral change.
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