Polyvagal Theory Made Simple: Your Guide to Calm and Connection

Take a screenshot of this handy pocket guide of vagal toning techniques!

Have you ever felt totally on edge, frozen in place, or like your body is reacting faster than your brain can think?

That’s not you “overreacting”—that’s your nervous system doing its job. And the more you understand how it works, the more empowered you’ll feel to support it.

That’s where Polyvagal Theory comes in. It’s a beautiful, science-backed way to understand why we feel the way we feel—and how to gently guide ourselves back to calm and connection.

🌿 What Is Polyvagal Theory?

Polyvagal Theory was developed by neuroscientist Dr. Stephen Porges, and it offers a compassionate new understanding of how our autonomic nervous system—the part of us that runs automatically—responds to safety, stress, and connection.

At the center of the theory is the vagus nerve (Latin for “wandering”), which travels from your brainstem through your face, heart, lungs, and gut. It’s constantly scanning your environment and asking:

“Am I safe right now… or not?”

Instead of just two stress responses (fight or flight), Polyvagal Theory outlines three distinct nervous system states—like a traffic light for your inner world.

🚦 Your Nervous System’s Three States

🟢 Green Light — Safe & Social (Ventral Vagal State)

When you feel safe, supported, and connected, your ventral vagus is in charge.

• You feel grounded and calm

• You can make eye contact, listen, and engage

• Your body is relaxed and open

This is where we thrive—emotionally, physically, and relationally.

🟠 Yellow Light — Fight or Flight (Sympathetic State)

When your system senses threat, it activates your sympathetic nervous system to help you survive.

• You might feel anxious, angry, restless, or overwhelmed

• Your heart races, breath shortens, muscles tense

• You’re mobilized: ready to act, escape, or defend

This state is helpful in short bursts—but exhausting if it becomes your norm.

🔴 Red Light — Freeze or Shutdown (Dorsal Vagal State)

If your body feels like there's no way out of a threat, it may shut down.

• You feel numb, foggy, detached, or hopeless

• You might feel invisible, “not here,” or out of touch with your body

• Your energy drops and motivation vanishes

This isn’t laziness or depression—it’s a powerful survival response from your nervous system.

🪜 The Ladder: Climbing Between States

Picture these three states as a ladder:

• Bottom rung = shutdown

• Middle = fight or flight

• Top = safe & social

Your system can move up and down this ladder all day long. The goal isn’t to avoid the lower rungs—it’s to recognize where you are and learn how to climb back up.

That ability to move between states is called nervous system flexibility—and it’s a skill you can strengthen.

💓 What Is Vagal Tone?

Vagal tone refers to the strength and responsiveness of your vagus nerve.

When vagal tone is strong:

• You recover quickly from stress

• You feel more resilient and emotionally steady

• Your body responds appropriately to cues of safety or danger

When vagal tone is low or underdeveloped:

• You may get stuck in anxious or shut-down states

• It’s harder to bounce back after stress

• You may feel “trapped” in patterns of reactivity, exhaustion, or overwhelm

Good vagal tone = more nervous system flexibility.

📈 What’s HRV (Heart Rate Variability)?

One way to measure vagal tone is through heart rate variability (HRV)—the tiny changes in time between your heartbeats. Many wearable health trackers (like Oura ring and Apple Watch) track HRV.

Higher HRV = a flexible, well-regulated nervous system.

Lower HRV = a system that’s stuck in survival mode

Low HRV often shows up with anxiety, burnout, and chronic stress. The great news? HRV—and vagal tone—can be improved with practice.

🧰 How to Support Vagal Tone & Regulation

Here are a few gentle, science-supported ways to build your vagal tone and help your nervous system feel safer:

🌬️ Breathwork – Slow, deep breaths with long exhales

🎶 Vocalizing – Humming, singing, or chanting stimulate the vagus nerve

💞 Safe social connection – Smiling, eye contact, shared laughter

🧘‍♀️ Rhythmic movement – Walking, rocking, dancing, or yoga

🧸 Soothing touch – Weighted blankets, self-hugging, petting an animal

🌊 Cold exposure – Try splashing cold water on your face or a cool rinse

📿 Grounding tools – Use scent, texture, or sensory input to feel “here now”

The more your body experiences safety, the easier it becomes to return to that state—even after stress.

❤️ Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken—You’re Wired for Survival

Polyvagal Theory reminds us that your body isn’t sabotaging you—it’s trying to protect you.

If you feel stuck, anxious, or disconnected, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means your nervous system has learned survival patterns that once made sense—and now, with support, those patterns can evolve.

With the right tools, you can:

• Build vagal tone

• Improve HRV

• Feel safer and more present in your body

You don’t have to force calm or fake positivity. You can learn to feel safe enough to be yourself.

Want support learning how to regulate your nervous system and ease anxiety? Let’s work together.