Updated: Sep 12, 2022
Hello and welcome to my blog! I'm excited to share all things health and wellness here - from mindset, to essential oil recipes and everything in between!
As with all information - please take what you find useful, and leave the rest. I am a strong believer that only you know what is best for you. All of this information is shared with genuine love and wonder at how our amazing bodies and minds (our bodyminds) are able to heal and thrive when supported.
I didn't realize how much support my own body needed until I was in my 40s. I definitely abused my body with lack of sleep, junk food, and booze in my 20s and into my 30s. I also didn't think twice about exposing myself to toxic media (news, violent shows) and toxic people. Even my corporate job was toxic.
A few years ago, I was absolutely miserable in my work life. I worked long hours doing work that I once loved and was passionate about, but had become so regulated and micromanaged, that I lost whatever joy I originally gained from doing it. To compound this issue, there were some poor management choices made several layers up that shook our team's foundation. I looked at other positions on other teams and at other companies, and rejected most of them because I was paid well in my position. I would gripe about how horrible our work was with my coworkers, but I stayed in that position. The team became toxic - people were finger pointing instead of supporting, and we were all licensed clinicians. It became the main thing that I talked about with everyone - how much I hated my job. I even started hating the field of psychology (and psychiatry) despite my previous deep passion for it! I knew that complaining about it wasn't helping me, but what could I do? I told myself I needed to vent, and I had lots of teammates who were eager to keep the complain-train going at full steam. My partner (Jay) was definitely sick of hearing about it. Things got worse and I had my first ever panic attack (in my 40s!) - and even as a trained professional, I wondered if I was having a heart attack. My mom had just died of a massive heart attack. I knew that all of this stress and complaining was only going to shorten my time on this planet. I desperately needed to change something, but all of the jobs I looked at were the same thing for less pay, so I stayed. I started listening to audiobooks like this one by Mel Robbins. I changed my attitude. It wasn't easy. It took time, some therapy, yoga teacher training, lots of audiobooks, a reintroduction to The Law of Attraction and a deep desire to do something I loved again.
Sometime during the peak of my misery, I was re-introduced to The Law of Attraction by way of Esther (Abraham) Hicks. They are what the book and movie The Secret is based on, but they were cut out of it before it premiered. For YEARS, The Law of Attraction sounded like wishful thinking to me. I thought they were taking people for a ride! You mean I can think about having a million dollars and have it? Ha! Then why isn't everyone a millionaire? Who was so gullible to even believe this nonsense? I prided myself on being science based, clinical, and only believing in things that could be proven. However, I was miserable enough to give anything a try, and I trusted myself to learn and do exactly what I advised above - take what's helpful and leave the rest. I started listening to short podcasts of Abraham Hicks speaking about someone's specific life situation when I was taking my walking breaks around the neighborhood. They passed my BS meter, and I connected to the concepts and ideas - the idea that you attract what you give off. Like attracts like. I slowly stopped engaging with people on my team - and in life - who were complaining, and just showed up to do my work. I stopped saying things that weren't helpful. I even stopped THINKING negatively. Within months, I was offered a temporary promotion on a different team that became permanent. That position allowed me to flourish and grow and realize that no matter how awesome some parts of the job were, corporate life and climbing the corporate ladder were not for me (which as a side note, I knew in 2004 when I first opened my private practice, but life circumstances and fear based thinking led me away from that - more on fear based living in a future blog).
Over the next year, I figured out how to quit my job and do what I loved again, and that is still constantly evolving. I realized that the strongest drivers in my life were strong emotions. When I focused on positive emotions (love, gratitude) the outcomes in my life were better. When I focused on the negative emotions (anger, fear) I was miserable. I constantly practiced this attitude change. I still practice it. I believe that my continual choice to be happy right where I am, no matter what is happening around me, has led to several positive life changes in the last several years.
It was a novel idea for me. Choosing happiness allowed me to be happy.
If you still think the Law of Attraction is a lot of hokus pokus (and I don't blame you even though I believe!), check out this site on Positive Psychology, which is an entirely different concept than the Law of Attraction, but has a lot of overlapping themes and data to back it up! Now why didn't I just go to that, given my roots in Clinical Psychology? I had given up on the field while I was in that toxic line of work, so I stopped seeking life's answers there. I was miserable enough that I needed to feel something spiritual and connect to the inner me. I will always be grateful to the Law of Attraction, and Esther and Abraham Hicks for leading me back to my happy, aligned self!
Have you left a job after being miserable and found peace and meaning in the process? I'd love to hear your story - what made you shift? Leave me a comment below!